


It always leads to you and my hometown

by PikaChu100



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Christmas, Confessions, Eventual Relationships, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, like finally, post time skip ish, they took so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:27:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29244309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PikaChu100/pseuds/PikaChu100
Summary: Some love stories need a long time to happen. Some love stories happen like magic. And Takahiro is okay with theirs being one that takes a long time and perhaps a holiday for them to make it happen.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	It always leads to you and my hometown

“Mama, I’ll be back past midnight. Don’t wait up for me.” Takahiro grabs his jacket and stuffs his phone in his front pocket - no way in hell is he going to risk dropping his phone while he cycles. 

“Don’t be back so late! You have school tomorrow!” His mother warns him yet doesn’t say no to him going out at past 10 p.m.

“I won't, I’ll be back home by 12, okay, Mama?” Takahiro grins at his mother as he puts on his shoes, tying the laces quickly (it’s the result of trying to catch up with Tooru and Hajime). 

“Make sure you come home okay? Don’t stay at your friend’s house.” She pats his head. 

“I won’t - even if Issei bribes me. I won’t.” Takahiro leans in to kiss his mother on her cheek. 

“Nii-chan! Where are you going?” His little sister peeks out of her room, in her arm is a pink bunny that matches her hair, it’s the one he bought for her 5th birthday. She walks to the front door, hiding behind her mother. 

“Nii-chan is going to see Issei,Tooru and Hajime nii-chan. I’ll be back tonight.” He pinches her cheeks.

“Promise? You have to walk me to school tomorrow.” She mutters and spats her brother’s hand away.

“Promise.” He nods. “Now go to bed, it’s late.” 

His sister, Tsukiko gives him a hug before running back into her room. Takahiro stands up giving his mother a soft smile. “Should I be worried that she’s so attached to me? What would she do when I’m not around.”

“She’ll be alright, you were like that with Tomoe too.” His mother chuckles, her children were always close to each other but the gap of their age was large enough to leave one child at home since the other would leave for college. Her son is next, of course, her daughter has returned but his only son is leaving soon. 

“I should get going or Tooru going to whine.” Takahiro chuckles and opens the door. “I’ll be back, mama.”

“Be careful.” There was a little sadness in her seeing him leave. It used to be a usual thing for Takahiro to leave late at night saying he’d be at one of his friends' houses. If it were a Friday night, he’d return the next morning, the boys would always end up sleeping over. There were times it was their house, she’d miss it. Four teenage boys would make a lot of noise but it was natural and at least they were sweethearts whenever they came over.

Takahiro cycles to the meet up point for the night, the park near the small hill. He arrives at the spot to find Tooru there alone. He waves to his friend and stops near him. It’s kind of weird not seeing Hajime with Tooru, they’re always together. The love sick pups they are - they have been skirting around the bush for far too long. 

“Where’s Hajime?” Takahiro gets off of his bicycle.

“He’s coming with Issei.” Tooru shrugs - his eyes wander around, there was something bothering him.

“What’s up? You seem antsy.” Takahiro props his bicycle up with the kickstand and stands beside Tooru.

Tooru’s lips tug up on the corner just a little. “I was thinking of telling him today.”

“Fucking finally,” Takahiro deadpans. “You two have been taking forever. I hope everything goes well.” 

Tooru chuckles - not his usual loud and bright laugh but a soft low one, reserved. “I know, I know. But it’s now or never. I’m leaving for Argentina.” 

“Wait - you’re really going?” Takahiro looks at his best friend a little shocked, only a little since they already knew Tooru was meeting with a coach and was planning to continue volleyball right off the bat. 

Tooru nods. “It’s a waste if I don’t go. I’ll explain more when the two of them arrive.” 

“They’re kinda late.” Takahiro grumbles. 

“Yea, I don’t know why. Hajime told me to go ahead and that he’ll be going with Issei.” Tooru shrugs. 

“Let’s give them shit about how tardy they are.” Takahiro smirks Tooru.

Tooru returns with a mischievous smile of his own. “This is why we’re best friends.” 

As planned the two of them grumble on and on when the other two male arrive. Issei just rolls his eyes and jabs at Takahiro’s side while Hajime and Tooru are having a whole ass quarrel, Takahiro and Issei share a look. Takahiro thanks the street light with the dim light for helping him hide his blush and he thanks god for making heartbeats unhearable from the outside albeit his heart beat is still in a steady rhythm that would not expose him of the secret crush he's harbouring. The lazy smile on Issei’s lips are genuine - endearing. 

Takahiro is in love. He has always been in love with Issei, it started without him noticing. Issei crawled into his heart in the most Issei fashion - not how he would imagine Tooru crept into Hajime’s and vice versa. It was not vibrant nor loud, it was not a whirlwind of emotions and it didn’t come as naturally like Hajime’s and Tooru’s love. It was silent yet always present, quiet yet warm - loving. It was sudden and yet to Takahiro it felt familiar and safe because it was Issei. 

The four of them hike up the small hill that has become their spot on nights where they wanted to hang out away from the prying eyes of adults. Tooru would always be the one bringing along a blanket to lay down on the grass before they huddle on in watching the stars. Today was no different, they laid there for what maybe the last time. It was an unspoken truth that once tomorrow ends they’d have to prepare for their own future that is so different from each other. 

“I’m going to Argentina.” Tooru mutters. 

“You should.” Hajime is the first to answer.

“You’re seriously going?” Issei looks to his side - meaning to look at Tooru but Hajime is in between him and Tooru.

Tooru nods. “It’ll be a waste to not go. I’ll go and learn for as long as I need. Maybe I’ll come home after a few years.” 

“What if Argentina is for you? What then?” Hajime whispers. 

Tooru lets out a sigh. “Then I’ll stay there.”

There was a little silence after that causing Tooru to sit up and stare at the other 3. “Don’t feel fucking down. It’s not like I’ll never return to this small town - it’s not like I’ll never return here with you guys. Maybe it’ll be harder but - one day, we’ll return here.” 

Takahiro is the first one to laugh before the rest of them burst out laughing too. It’s true that graduation is coming tomorrow and the inevitable separation is around the corner. It made them a little scared to lose this bond they’ve made but there’s a point of meeting here in Sendai, on a small hill. 

And there’s chatting apps nowadays - time zones can fuck themselves.

“I got into Irvine. Sport science.” Hajime smiles as he tells his friend.

“Dude, seriously? I’m so proud of you!” Issei and Hajime fist bumps while Tooru just stares at Hajime with so much pride in him - the lack of surprise tells them that maybe Tooru was one of the first that knew. 

“Congrats, I’m heading to Tokyo.” Takahiro shrugs, they already knew that he got into the university he wanted. 

“And I’m moving to Miyagi. Not sure about college but probably will be forced to learn business.” Issei shrugs, he was the only one with the most lackluster plan.

He wasn’t going to the big city or overseas, he was just moving in with his uncle to learn the business since his uncle doesn’t have any sons so he was the one asked to learn the business and continue it. He wasn’t against it and decided to try it out for a few years, if it doesn’t fit him, he could leave of course.

“Sorry we can send you off, Mattsun.” Tooru looks at Issei with an apologetic face.

Issei chuckles. “I’m barely moving that far, I don’t need anyone sending me off. I’d rather see you guys off.” 

“But still, I would like to see you get in the car and wave you off dramatically to make fun of you as you go.” Tooru waves his hand as if he has a handkerchief in his hands - like the women who’d cry so much when sending off a loved one as he fakes a crying face.

“Fuck you.” Issei flips him off. 

That night was no different from the others which they were all so thankful for. No more tears should be shed after what Tooru pulled off in the gym. Takahiro has enough crying already and he wants to smile as he leaves the school now. Before midnight they return down the hill and to the park near it, Takahiro grabbing his bike but not getting on it. 

“Bye, see you shitheads tomorrow.” Issei and Takahiro leave together leaving Tooru and Hajime alone. 

“Bye, don’t be late.” Tooru calls after them.

“Gotta walk Tsukiko! Will be late.” Takahiro turns around to yell back. 

Issei looks back one more time and waves at the two. “You’re walking Tsukiko tomorrow?” 

“Yea, she made me promise. So can’t back down.” Takahiro nods, he’s pushing his bike and not riding it just yet as he walks with Issei.

“Hajime’s going to confess tonight.” Issei mutters. 

“Oh good, Tooru is too.” Takahiro snickers. 

“Finally.” Issei shakes his head. “They took so long huh.”

“Way too long. I’m so tired of seeing them like this.”

The irony of two of them saying this is - they’re taking longer than Tooru and Hajime. In fact, they’re worse than the two of them. No one else knew what happened - no one knew something happened. It was a well kept secret between them and one where Takahiro wishes they talked about but he doesn’t want to be the one who would bring it up and Issei looks like he doesn’t want to talk about it so Takahiro lives on with the constant thought of that night that happened last year. There was so much he wanted to ask - to confirm yet he held himself back from it.

They split off at the junction and from there Takahiro rides his bicycle while Issei walks on foot. He arrives home, it is dark and he knows everyone is asleep so he sneaks into his room quietly not turning the light on and just changes into his sweats before climbing into bed. He doesn’t know what would happen to Hajime and Tooru but he’s happy for them, that they have the courage to tell one another.  
Unlike him and Issei. It happened last year, during a training camp - Takahiro was already harbouring feelings for Issei at that time, strong feelings that he tried to push away because they were friends and he didn’t want to lose what they had. Some old thing and he wasn’t sure if Issei would have loved him, he wasn’t cute or good looking - he was average, tall and lanky. There was nothing special to him in his eyes so why would Issei fall for him.

That night changed everything - well, almost everything. Takahiro couldn’t sleep well that night, so he wandered out to the corridor and stared out the window. He remembers being scared for a moment when someone stood beside him - Issei had the audacity to laugh at him. They talked in hushed voices, Issei noticed he was gone from his futon and went out of the room. He asked if he was okay, and Takahiro just answered that he couldn’t fall asleep. 

It was normal, they talked and joked around but that night was different. There was intimacy that they rarely display in front of the whole team and only when it’s the two of them. No one had seen this calm version of them besides one another. He remembers thinking about how much he wants to kiss Issei when the moon shone on the male’s face is a way it took Takahiro’s breath away. He didn’t know at the time but Issei was thinking of the same thing and the late night haze made him have faux courage. 

Issei leans in and kisses him. He was taken aback for a moment before he kissed Issei back - his eyes closing slowly, as slow as their lips moving together. Issei’s lips weren’t chapped but a little dry and soft. Takahiro could taste the faint mint from what he guessed if from Issei’s toothpaste - this makes him laugh a little but not enough for Issei to notice. Takahiro is the one who pulls away first. Issei turns around, covering his lips missing how Takahiro was biting his lips- he wanted more.

“We need to sleep.” Issei mutters before he hurries into the room - leaving Takahiro bewildered about what happened. Wasn’t it then where they were to profess their love to each other and not walk away like nothing happened?

Takahiro is still lost and they both chose to be silent about it. Until now - they haven’t spoken about what really happened and it’s weighing Takahiro down. He’s never going to know and maybe it’s for the best.

“Come on, Tsukiko!” Takahiro stands up after putting his shoes on. 

Tsukiko comes running with her tiny red backpack on her shoulders, “Coming!”

He watches as she puts on her shoes, and their mother comes to the front door. She gives him one last look - the final time she’d see him in this school uniform. She smoothes out his jackets and sighs. Takahiro holds his mother’s hand. “I’m not leaving tomorrow, Mama. You don’t have to be so sad.” 

She smiles soft at him and squeezes his hand. “It’s not about you leaving yet. It’s seeing you in this for the last time.”

“Mama…” He hugs her, maybe it’s the realization of him growing up. Her little boy is now graduating high school and is about to leave home, he gets it. 

He walks hand in hand with Tsukiko, she’s happily chattering about what was about to happen at school. At an intersection they bump into Issei who was waiting for the sibling, it took Takahiro by surprise but Tsukiko is always happy to see Issei. So they walk Tsukiko to her school before heading to theirs where Tooru and Hajime are waiting at the front gate for them.

The graduation ceremony ends without a hitch, in the middle of the ceremony he sees Issei looking back at him so he makes a silly face which causes Issei to laugh before the male just stares at him with a look Takahiro has never seen before. It wasn’t the usual ‘you’re stupid’ stare, it reminded Takahiro of the night they kissed. Issei looked at him just how he was looking at him that night. It was a similar look - Takahiro’s heart squeezes.

He tears the eye contact first, he looks down to his hands. When he looks up again, Issei has turned around and he does the same. 

The 3rd years leave the hall - now free to go wherever they wish. For Takahiro, Hajime, Tooru and Issei they would go to the gym where the team is waiting for them. Of course, they already know that Oikawa will be passing his position as the captain to Yahaba. It was no surprise but of course Yahaba shed some tears when Tooru handed him his jersey with a proud smile. “You better show them hell.”

“I won’t disappoint you.” Yahaba chokes out in tears. 

After that the seniors return to their classes to get their diplomas, the four of them separate ways to their own classes with the promise of meeting at the school gate for ramen after school. In class his homeroom teacher gives one final pep talk to them and sends them off with a bright smile. Takahiro bids goodbye to his classmate after some pictures were taken and warm parting ways were spoken. The volleyball team already met earlier today so that was done, with the diploma in his hand and his bag slung on his shoulders he left the nearly empty classroom. 

When he comes out to the hallway he sees Issei standing there waiting for him. They look at each other before Issei holds out his arms. Takahiro smiles and walks over to his best friend and crush, he lets himself fall into Issei’s arms. His arms around Issei’s back, hugging him tight. 

“We made it.” Issei says.

“Finally - god I’m so done with school.” Takahiro mutters. 

Issei chuckles at his words. “No more volleyball with you sucks.” 

“Yea, it does suck.” 

They stood there silent - still hugging. Thankfully there was no one there to catch them and question them for how long they were holding each other.

“Goodbye Issei.” Takahiro whispers into Issei’s shoulder.

“Goodbye, Takahiro.” Issei mutters back before he chuckles and pulls away. “You’re saying things like we’re not going to see Tooru and Hajime off. Like I won’t be there when you leave for Tokyo.”

Takahiro fakes a smile and shrugs. “An early goodbye.” 

“Don’t be hasty on ditching me, Taka. You’re going to miss me one day.” Issei chuckles. “Come on let’s go.” 

Takahiro nods, he keeps the smile on his face. His heart is crying in place of his eyes, this was his first love and like first loves, they never work out in the end unless you’ve been blessed by the heavens like Tooru and Hajime was. They were the protagonist of the world while Takahiro is the side character with minimal importance - he doesn’t get the love he longs for. He doesn’t get to hold hands with Issei nor does he get to kiss him one last time. 

So the best thing he could do was say goodbye and make peace. Maybe in Tokyo he would find someone better.

The next couple of weeks were filled with departures, first was Tooru who was determined to go to Argentina. The coach told him as soon as he finished high school to come to Argentina and here he is, checking in his luggage with a one way ticket to Argentina. There was nothing certain about it but deep down the three of them knew that this would be the last time they’d see Tooru in a very long time. Hajime tried to hide his sadness but it was clear. Knowing Hajime, he’d probably think that he’d be fine with watching go because Tooru has the calmest and determined face on. Their captain was running towards his dream of the world stage, the only thing they could and would do is cheer him on.

The next one to leave is Hajime, he insisted on moving in early. He needed to get used to the environment and to figure out his way around the campus and town. So he went a couple weeks earlier than it was required. So again, Takahiro and Issei are side by side at the airport, watching another friend walking away from home and flying off to a foreign country. 

At the end of the next month, Takahiro is the one leaving. This time no by plane but in a truck with all the stuff he needs and his father driving while he’s on the passenger side. From the side mirror he sees Issei standing there, still and stiff. The image of his friend changes from a clear view of his face and gradually into a blob - a dot. 

That was one of the last times he saw Issei before life got in between the four close knit friends. 

The winter air is cold but Tokyo is colder than Sendai in the winter so it wouldn’t bother him as much as he thinks it would. Takahiro wraps a turquoise knitted scarf his mother made for him in high school around his neck up to cover his lips from the cold. It’s in Sejioh’s colour and Takahiro won’t stop wearing it, how could he - this single colour reminds him of the best years of high school minus the exams that is. 

He boards the train heading to Sendai, since it’s Christmas holidays, he didn’t want to stay in Tokyo alone so he heads home to be with his family. Hajime can’t return since it would be too expensive to fly two ways and Tooru is busy with building his career over in Argentina. It’s only been a couple of years and yes, Tooru is still a new - no name upcoming young setter. There was no doubt that blue suits Tooru the best - to hell with the reds. 

He hasn’t heard from Issei - the last thing he said anything in their private chat with Tooru and Hajime before the sparse text and calls from him is that he’s starting work soon and that was more than six months ago. So Takahiro understands the lessening calls and text. He doesn’t expect to see Issei this holiday too. The thought of seeing Issei makes him jittery and his heart feels a weird way - like it’s twisting itself in Takahiro’s chest. Tokyo provided him time and space to forget his feelings for Issei but now he’s returning to Sendai and he wonders what if it all returns to him? What then?

He gets off of the train and immediately checks his phone to see if his parents have said anything about arriving but he only gets a text from his mother that reads, “You’ll know when you see it.” It leaves him in utter confusion - see what? See who? Sighing, he heads towards the main terminal where the exit door is. He walks down the stairs mindlessly, eyes looking around to see if there is someone he knows around that’s picking him up. 

“Taka!” The person that greets him at the train station is someone he doesn’t expect to be seeing.

“Issei.” Takahiro unconsciously smiles.

Issei stands there at the bottom of the stairs clad in formal suit - all black which makes sense since he works in the funeral business. His smile is just as bright as Takahiro’s. His steps down the stairs were resemblance of a kid running to their mother. Just how they parted with a hug, years later - they reunite with an embrace.

Years ago Takahiro would only smell the spray deodorant on Issei but as he is now a grown adult, working and probably earns good money, Takahiro smells a hint of musk and orange on him. This bastard started wearing perfume, he still felt solid as ever. Like a pillar, one you could lean on when things are hard - he was Sejioh’s pillar. He was Takahiro’s pillar. 

They let go of each other, still smiling. “I haven’t heard from you in a long time.” Takahiro's hands return to his side yet burning to touch Issei again. 

Issei smiles sheepishly and scratches his head - he changed his hairstyle, it’s not messy now. “Yea, I got busy with work. I’m sorry.” 

“You could once in a while drop a meme in the chat or something. Tooru and Hajime are in different time zones you know. You’re supposed to be easier to contact.” Takahiro fakes a sulky tone. 

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll do better.” Issei slings an arm around Takahiro’s shoulder. “Come on, your mother trusted me to get you home safely.” 

Issei has a car - Takahiro stares at his best friend in disbelief. How the hell did this male get so stable in life that he has a car this early? Takahiro doesn’t even have his degree yet! They get in and Issei drives toward their neighbourhood. 

“Are you on a break or just stopping by?” Takahiro switches the radio channel. 

“On a break, I’ll be here for the holidays.” Issei’s fingers drum to the beat of the song on the steering wheel. 

“That’s nice.” Takahiro looks outside the window - Sendai hasn’t changed very much. It is still much like how they were in high school and the change in them. Takahiro grew out his hair, not too long but not the short hair he had in high school, he looks okay - it is not a glow up or anything. But Issei - Issei, maybe it’s the age that grew with him. Maybe Issei is like wine, he looks better now than he was in high school. His hair is styled and neater now, his hair was alway wavy and a little messy back then which made him just cut it short for convenience and to get teachers off his back. 

Takahiro couldn’t stop staring at this gorgeous man. He forcefully tore his eyes away from Issei, hoping to god he wasn’t blushing.

“I was thinking - now that you’re back home and I’m also home for the holiday. Do you want to hang out?” Issei glances at him before turning back to the road.

Takahiro nods without thinking - he didn’t need to think, this is his best friend, of course he wants to hang out. “Of course. It’s been a long time since we hung out.”

Issei grins. “Then, I’ll tell you when. Any place you want to go?” 

“No place in particular. Is that ramen shop still there?” Takahiro asks Issei about the same Ramen shop the Sejioh team went to after a match or when the 4 of them just wanted to hang out after school.

Issei shrugs. “Haven’t been in that area recently. We can just check it out, if it’s not there then, we’ll find someplace else.” 

“Yea, let’s do that.” Takahiro agrees with the plan.

Issei seems to be pondering about something making Takahiro raise his eyebrow at his friend. He doesn’t need to say anything for Issei to get that he wants Issei to just spit it out. “Let’s go to the hill. Just us. With some beer.” 

“Just two cans of beer. I’m not walking down that hill drunk.” Takahiro chuckles.

“Fine, two can up there and plenty more at my place.” Issei gives him a cheeky smile.

The soft thumping of his heart accelerated just a little more than usual. Takahiro nods at Issei - both agreeing and admitting defeat to Issei smile. It took one silly smile from Issei for Takahiro to know that he is truly and most definitely still in love with Issei even after all this time. They might have changed over this couple of years but perhaps some things don't really change and will stay forever like Hajime’s permanent scowl, Tooru’s undying pride, the softness in Issei’s eyes for him and Takahiro’s love for Issei.

Issei stays for dinner that day, of course. There was really no way for him to get out of it when his mother sees him and drags them both in the house. Tsukiko comes out of her room wearing his Sejioh jacket and Takahiro needs to take a hot minute. Because his baby sister is growing up and that jacket really doesn’t fit her perfectly yet, with the sleeves covering her fingers and it goes down past her knees. 

“Nii-chan!” She grins and tackles him with a hug at the front door.

“Hey,Tsukiko.” He hugs her tightly.

She peeks to his side, “Issei-nii chan is here too!”

“Hi, you’ve grown taller since the last time I’ve seen you.” Issei smiles at the girl.

“That’s because you never come over here because Nii-chan doesn’t come home often.” She pouts. 

“I’ll visit more.” Takahiro chuckles and lets go of his sister to take his shoes off. 

“Oh, come in boys. Issei, stay for dinner okay.It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you back here.” His mother has the sweetest smile while talking to Issei - which makes Takahiro a little jealous but happy at the same time. 

“Alright, auntie. I’ll stay.” Issei chuckles.

Their houses were each other’s second house, he guesses it’s because they were always sleeping over. It was easy for their parents to track them down if they didn’t come home right after practice, sometimes even staying over until dinner and all their moms, Hajime and Tooru included made sure they went home fed. It was normal for them. 

He sees Issei out after dinner, thanking him for the ride home. They reconfirm the plan they made in the car again, Issei gets into his car with one last look at Takahiro, there was something on his tongue and Takahiro notices it but he doesn’t push. He doesn’t think he’s ready to hear it just yet. 

“I’ll call you.” Issei says instead. 

“Sure, I’ll be waiting.” Takahiro nods, pulling his cardigan closer to his body. 

Issei calls him two days later and they make plans for the coming Sunday. A couple days shy from Christmas, Issei says he needs help with getting some gifts too so why not drag him along and they can hang out at the same time.

On Sunday morning, Takahiro leaves the house when he hears a car honk. Tsukiko waving at him as he leaves while his mother reminds them to be careful and nothing more. Closing the door, he sees Issei in the driver seat, he’s wearing a black hoodie and is checking his watch. Takahiro jogs to the car and hops into the passenger. 

“Let’s go.” Takahiro shuts the door and reaches for the seatbelt. 

“Thanks for agreeing to tag along.” Issei starts to drive away to the main street. 

“Everyone knows you suck at choosing presents, so to save people from disappointment.I’ll tag along.” Takahiro glances at Issei with a smile on his face. 

Issei chuckles and throws a playful punch at his arm. “I choose splendid gifts.” 

“Uhuh, keep telling that to yourself Issei.” Takahiro snickers.

They fall into a comfortable silence as they enter the main road heading to the shopping district. Issei hums to the song that’s playing on the radio. Takahiro notices when the pass by the Aoba Johsai field, it was at the back of the front gate, they’d only see the field and the back building.

“The school looks the same.” He mutters. 

“Yea, nothing changed. Just some paint job I guess. Other than that nothing.” Issei agrees with him.

The car turns at a corner, and the school disappears from their sight.”How is work these days?” Takahiro leans against the window, his eyes glued to the scene outside. 

“Well, it’s not quite the business to be wishing for it to be booming,” The both of them crack a smile at his words. “But it’s okay.” 

“Do you remember Mr.Aoyama?” Issei brings up the old math teacher, the one that likes to chase both of them around school when they cause trouble. 

“Of course I remember that old geezer. He made me start running in the mornings, just so I could escape from him.” Takahiro reminisces the days where he was out of breath running from a teacher even more so than when he was playing volleyball. 

“I think it was about 8 months ago,” Issei tries to recall. “His wife came to my company, with his picture. They wanted a ceremony for him.” 

Takahiro turns to look at Issei, shocked. “What? He passed away?”

Issei nods. “Apparently a heart attack.”

Takahiro falls silent, unable to say anything. The news of the passing of a teacher that was a large part of his high school memory. Issei glances at him, he notices Takahiro falling silent, he has gotten used to talking about people passing. His job was to face grieving family members and he kind of forgets sometimes that other people aren’t used to it. 

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to bring the mood down.”Issei mutters. 

“Nah, I’m just shocked. I guess life is short.”Takahiro mutters. 

They arrive at the shopping district minutes later, Issei parks the car and they get out. There were a lot of people also doing shopping, so they walked closely beside each other as Issei looked around for stores that could potentially have what he was looking for. Takahiro tails him around, giving opinions about the things he was looking at - teasing him a little which Issei only replies with a playful glare or a head lock once. Takahiro felt as if they travelled back in time, like they were in high school but without Hajime and Tooru around.

They keep walking around even after Issei has found everything he wanted to, both of them haven’t been home in a long time so they take the chance to look around this place that they used to be sick of going to, now it is like a whole new mystery yet with a hint of nostalgia. The arcade they usually go to is still there, their eyes meet. Issei with no hesitation grabs Takahiro’s hand and drags him inside the arcade. 

He laid in bed that night, exhausted from being out the whole day with Issei, his hand burned from being touched by Issei. He groans at himself, when did he become like a teenage girl having a crush on the popular boy. He huffs and looks at his desk, a stuffed Shiba Inu toy that Issei won but gave him, sits on the table. He gets up from his bed and grabs the stuffed toy, hugging it close, he brings it to bed and the toy never leaves it ever again.

They hang out even more after that,first the ramen shop and the next few days Takahiro comes over for dinner and tonight it was the hill and alcohol. It would be the last hang out before Takahiro would have to return to Tokyo. They spent Christmas separately with their respective families and only texted over the holiday. 

Once again Takahiro is wrapped up with a scarf around his neck, walking to the park that was near to the hill, he’s not riding the bicycle today since he’s not sure how tipsy they’re going to get up there. So he walks, bundled up in multiple layers because Issei just chose the coldest night of the damn week to meet up. But he didn’t say no because in 4 days he’ll be going back to Tokyo. Issei would be going back to his uncle’s house soon too, so this is the only time they could make for each other.

“Late!” Issei shouts when Takahiro is near the park.

The male standing there with a pack of canned beer in his hands. Takahiro shrugs at his friend like he didn’t do anything wrong - he didn’t, he is on time.

“I’m not late, you were too early.” Takahiro sticks his tongue out at Issei. 

Issei rolls his eyes at Takahiro. “Come on.”

The two of them walked up the hill just like they often did before, the grass grew taller and the path that they cleared out were gone as grass grew on them. It’s a little slippery, hence Issei reaches out his hand towards Takahiro which he takes so he wouldn’t fall. They make it on the hill safely without anyone falling, they need only worry about it when they need to go down to go home later. 

“It’s a little slippery there.” Takahiro mutters as he lays out a mat for them to sit on.

“Yea, so getting drunk up here isn’t a choice.” Issei puts the beer down before sitting down. 

Takahiro sits beside Issei, looking up at the sky. “There’s no star tonight.” 

Issei lays down, resting his arm beneath his head. “That’s okay, just being here with you is enough.” 

Takahiro blushes but the dark helps him hide the heat on his face, he looks down to Issei who’s already looking at him. It’s on the tip of his tongue, he wants to ask - heck Issei looks so kissable right now. It’s so near, he just needs to lean down and they’ll kiss. Issei doesn’t tear away from looking up at him, they stare at each other - somehow, Takahiro knows that Issei might be thinking about the same thing as he is. That night years ago that they never talked about. 

“Taka,” Issei calls out his name. 

“Yea?”

Issei takes a long time to continue, he bites his lips - hesitant of the next words he would say to Takahiro. Instead of saying what he wants, he says something else. “Be careful when you return to Tokyo.”

Takahiro looks down and smiles softly. “I will.”

Once the alcohol started kicking in the rest of the night became a blur - he knows they made it down the hill just fine, tipsy at that point but not drunk enough to be stumbling around. He remembers Issei putting his arm on his shoulder while he hugged the male by his waist as they walked home to Issei’s house. Issei pulled out a 1.8 litre Sake bottle and two shot glasses as they headed up quietly into Issei room. After that he barely remembers anything but the taste of Sake and the softness of the bed covers.

Takahiro wakes up feeling overly warm and with a thumping head. He remembers drinking the night away with Issei. He recognises the room although it isn't his, he spent his high school days here with Tooru, Hajime and Issei. He looks to his side, Issei’s sleeping peacefully. His hair all messed up and cheeks squished against his pillow. Takahiro holds back a laugh. He lifts his hand slowly to make minimum noise. He ghosts his finger over Issei’s face, tracing his nose and over his high cheekbones. The long lashes flutter so ever slightly causes Takahiro to pull his hand back quickly.

Issei doesn’t wake up and instead he snuggles closer into his pillow. Takahiro lets out a sigh - how does he let go of his first love? How does he let go of Issei if he was so lovable?

When he got off the train almost a week ago, he feared this. He feared falling back in love with Issei but he wonders if he even fell out of love with Issei? Why was it so easy for him to accept these feelings again? It was almost instant when he saw Issei again at the station, smiling - there was no one else that could make him smile that quickly. Was this the right thing? If it is then why is it so hard to come clean?

A day before he returns to Tokyo, he stays home with Tsukiko- watching her colour in a colouring book that his older sister bought for her for Christmas. Their parents were out and it was too cold out that they both didn’t want to tag along and instead stayed in the comfort of the kohatsu. 

“Issei nii-chan should come over more often.” Tsukiko says nonchalantly.

“Huh? Why do you say that?” Takahiro is brought out of his thoughts when his sister says that.

She looks at him with innocent eyes and shrugs. “Because Nii-chan always looks happier when he’s around. When Issei nii-chan is here, nii-chan’s smile just gets wider and you laugh louder with Issei nii-chan.” 

“Do I really?” Takahiro frowns a little - he doesn’t think he does but then again he doesn’t see how he smiles. 

Tsukiko nods. “Even Nee-chan notices.”

Takahiro looks down to his hand. “Oh...”

“Tsukiko, Taka is an idiot. Don’t bother telling him that.” Their eldest sister, Tomoe, was home too but only now cared to join them in the living room.

“I’m not an idiot.” Takahiro glares at her.

She gives him a look. “You know what I mean. I’m no idiot,Taka. I’ve seen it since high school.” She says before heading to the kitchen. 

Takahiro sighs and knocks his head on the table, with a huff he gets up and tails his sister. “What do you want me to do about it?” 

“What’s up with you two? Hajime and Tooru got together faster.” She leans against the kitchen sink, crossing her arms.

Takahiro stands across from her. “Nothing is up. It’s just a one sided crush that never went away.”

“Takahiro.” She uses her serious tone on him.

“Look, we kissed during high school.” 

“And?”

“There was no and.”

“You two never talked about it?”

“It’s not like I’ve never thought about asking him about it but when I’m about to ask him, I couldn’t. I know it’s a lame excuse...” Takahiro sighs.

“Glad you know it’s a lame excuse. I’m not going to push you but I’ll say that you can’t keep on holding back, hoping he’s the one to bring it up. One day you’ll regret it.” She shrugs. “It’s in your hands.” 

That night after packing his things he gets a text from Issei. 

“I’ll drive you to the station tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Issei.” 

That morning Takahiro finds himself with a pestering mother who is running around making sure he packed everything he needed and even packing some ( a lot if you asked him) food for him to eat in his tiny apartment in Tokyo. Tsukiko glued to him practically all morning, begging for his attention before he leaves and Takahiro secretly annoys his sister all morning with Tsukiko. The house was in a ruckus but Takahiro wouldn’t want it any other way. This was his family’s way of sending him off and he accepts it all. 

Around noon is when he hears a car stopping in front of the house and his father going out to thank the driver of the car for offering to drop him off. Takahiro silently hears the conversation while putting on his shoes. He feels a hand on his head, he looks up and Tomoe is looking down at him, he makes a face - yeah he knows, she’s telling him to talk to Issei before leaving but Takahiro knows he isn’t ready just yet.

“Bye, nii-chan..” Tsukiko waves from the front door when he gets in the car. 

“I’ll come home soon.” Takahiro waves back to his family. 

The drive to the station is short and silent, Takahiro only staring out the window - his mouth heavy, there was so much that he wanted to tell Issei. There is a lot for them to unpack if he was completely honest but ultimately, the only words he would really want to say to Issei right now are confessions of him missing Issei and that he’s in love with him, always has and will be. But those were heavily weighted words that could come crashing down and destroy this strong bond they have built. 

Before he knows it, they are already at the station. Issei stopped at the drop off, he put his car in park and pulled the handbrake. They looked at each other - for a moment regret and sadness in their eyes mirror each other. It felt like a ‘now or never’ situation, Takahiro’s eyes locked onto Issei’s lips - once more is all he wishes for. 

“Taka,” Issei mutters. 

“Y-Yea?”Takahiro looks down to his hands. 

When he looks up again, Issei has a pained expression on his face. “Have a safe trip.”

Takahiro strains a smile and nods. “Thanks. For the ride, and the hang out. I’ll contact you whenever.”

“Yea, whenever.” Issei turns away from him, a faint tug on his lips .

Takahiro hesitantly opens the car door, he looks back one more time at Issei. “Goodbye Issei.”

“Goodbye Takahiro.” A smile from Issei.

He walks into the station with teary eyes and yet again, a hurting heart.

Takahiro leans his head against the train window - he recalls the smile Issei gave him as he gots out of the car. It was the same old soft smile that doesn’t make his heart beat but instead it wraps him in warmth. One that Takahiro has missed so damn much. He almost did it you see, he almost reached over to kiss Issei. To kiss those lips again is one of his hidden desires - they never talked about the first kiss that they shared that night at a training camp away from everyone.

Takahiro wishes they did.

He arrives in Tokyo near dinner time, it takes him another half an hour to get to his apartment and the sky is dark once he arrives there. He airs out the house, noting that he needs to get a new air freshener or at least a refill for his reed diffuser. He doesn’t take his jacket off as he cracks the window open for a little while. He keeps the food his mother packed in the fridge, he didn’t feel like eating tonight. He opts to clean his apartment, there was nothing to do besides getting out the blanket and wiping down some of the surface clean of dust. Done with everything, he shuts the window and takes off his jacket, bundling himself in the blanket as he lays down on his bed. 

He opens his private chat with Tooru. “Are you up?” He waits for a reply for his text. Around 10 minutes or so he gets a reply from Tooru. 

“Just got out of the showers, Got practice at 9. What’s up?” Tooru texts him back.

“Can I call you? Need to talk. Need help.” Takahiro sighs when he presses send. 

“Hit me.” 

Takahiro doesn’t waste time on calling his other best friend who picks up within 1 ring. “How did you get so lucky with love?”

“Taka?” Tooru sounds so bewildered at his question.

“How did you and Haijme get so lucky with your love? Why can’t I have that kind of luck too?” Takahiro sighs.

“Is this about Issei?” 

“It’s always about Issei. It hasn’t been a day since I last saw him - and fuck I already miss him, I miss his smile.” 

“Taka…” Tooru exhales.

“I don’t know what to do, Tooru.” Takahiro bites his lips and covers his eyes with his free forearm. 

“Tell him.”

“And lose him?” Takahiro scoffs.

“You’re not going to, I know it’s scary. Falling in love with your best friend, it’s daunting. To even think of taking that step, since there’s always a chance of losing what you’ve made over the years but maybe it’s time Taka.” Tooru tries to convince him that it would be okay.

Takahiro sighs. “I don’t know Tooru.”

“Think about it at least. You still have a chance, god knows when in the future, what if he suddenly introduces someone to us and you’d probably find yourself regretting it. I just don’t want you to.”

“But the choice is yours. I’m just saying.” Tooru adds.

“ Ugh, I - I’ll think about it.” 

After the car door shut and Takahiro walked away without looking back, Issei sat in his car - staring at his steering wheel, hands gripping on it hard. Issei’s disappointed at himself again, he let Takahiro go again. He sat in the car for a minute thinking if he should get off the car and run after Takahiro but it all ended with him driving away from the airport with a heavy heart. He wasn’t Hajime that was brave enough to chase after the person he loves. Arriving home to only coop himself in the comforts of his room - using fatigue as an excuse because all he wants to do is lay in bed and recall all the smile Takahiro has given him in the short time they spent together. 

“I miss you already.”

It wasn’t until he returned to his uncle’s house that weekend and had to rush to work because they were short on staff due to a sudden death that happened when everyone was still coming back from their break for him to realise that he didn’t need to be like Hajime. 

Issei goes to work, sliding on the white gloves he always carries around and fixing his coat to look neat. His co-worker greets him and explains to him everything that he needs to know before he enters the hall, checking up on everything. The coffin is already in there and flowers are in place. The picture of the person who passed away hasn’t been put up so he looks for it, it was a young lady - around his age Issei would guess. Smiling brightly in the photo, Issei silently prays for her peace on the other side as he places it on the altar.

Tears and grief filled his day, it was as usual and he learned to detach from it all sometimes, it isn’t good for his mental health but he still needed to be sympathetic towards the family. He keeps on a professional attitude, guiding the family with patience and holding on to the weak mother that is overwhelmed with devastation at her daughter’s passing. It was all well until another young lady entered - silently crying with a hand claps over her mouth. 

She fell to her knees before her crying turned into wailing. Issei shares a look with co-worker, not sure of what to do. One of them eventually helped the lady up and calmed her down. Issei watches as she hands a box to the worker, requesting it to be placed with the coffin. It was a ring box. It dawned onto Issei, perhaps this was her lover which explains the grief and devastation. 

“What if it was me?” 

Issei is stunned at his own thoughts. He stood there - thinking what if it was him in that spot or what if it was Takahiro. Would he be in the same situation as she is? Would he be crying his eyes out at the missed chance - the future they could have with each other if only they took the leap? If this was his funeral, would Takahiro rush back home to send him off? Would Takahiro cry for him?

He knows the answer. Takahiro would and Issei would too. He was no idiot, from the moment his kiss was returned he knew that maybe they could be more than friends and it scared him - being more than friends was a huge thing to him. If things go back he’d lose more than a lover, he’d lose a very good friend and as much as Issei loves Takahiro, he is first a very good friend of Issei and losing that is scary. So he ran away that night - and never tried to fix things again. 

Every muscle in his body was screaming to him to go to Tokyo and find Takahiro and to fix things. The look Takahiro gave him when he got out of the car really shaken Issei up. This might be the last time and chance for them. Issei lets out a sigh out and closes his eyes - this wasn’t the time or place for him to think about this. It could wait. 

“For how much longer must you hesitate?” Issei asks himself. 

The funeral ends by 7pm that day. They begin to clear up everything and once it was done it was already 8 at night. His co-workers are all exhausted, Issei leans against the kitchen counter in the pantry. They all gathered there and ordered food but Issei doesn’t feel like eating. He tugs on his tie to loosen it and pop two buttons open. 

“Issei are you okay?” One of his co-worker noticed him spacing out. 

Issei looks at him and nods. “Yea, just a little tired.” 

He doesn’t push it and Issei takes his phone out, perhaps he should distract himself with social media. He goes through the stories of his mutual friends, skipping a few that he didn’t want to see. He stops at Takahiro - he’s out with his friend. Issei stares at the picture for a long time before he decides - he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let this wait anymore. 

He pushes himself off of the countertop, shoves his phone into his pocket in a frantic manner - grabbing his jacket and keys quickly. “Hey, if my uncle looks for me just tell him I’m heading to Tokyo. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” 

“Matsun, it’s really late. Can’t you go tomorrow?” One of the female co-workers says to him.

Issei looks at her and shakes his head. “This can’t wait. I don’t know if tomorrow, he’d still be mine or not. I’m not waiting another day.” He says before rushing out of the door leaving everyone in shock and confusion. 

The drive to the station was a blur - it was all a blur it was like his body moved on it’s own. Like it’s sick and tired of him being a coward so they decided to move on their own will. Making him board the train to Tokyo. He didn’t know where Takahiro was and instead of asking Takahiro directly, he texts Kindaichi and asks the boy if he knew where Takahiro is since he is studying in Tokyo too. Kindaichi replies to him within 15 minutes, he thanks the boy and promises a free dinner and drink he would pay for. 

It takes two hours for the train to finally stop at Tokyo. Issei wakes up from the haze and finds himself lost and with cold feet yet again. Was this the right thing? Issei looks down at his phone, the possible address of where Takahiro might be in the chat with Kindaichi. It’s calling out to him - get in a cab and go. 

Takahiro looks around the arcade his friends dragged him out to, since classes were to start and most of them have returned to Tokyo, they decided to hang out. Takahiro, who was bored and needed a distraction from thinking about a certain tall dark haired male agrees to it. Now he’s in the arcade - which doesn’t help when all he starts to remember is the doll he left behind in Sendai and the person who won that for him. 

He wants to leave.

“Hey, we’re heading out.” Two of his friends say after some time in the arcade. 

Takahiro takes the chance to tag along with them. “Oh, wait. I’m heading out too.” 

“Makki? You’re heading out early?” The others that were staying asked in disbelief, he was usually the last ones to go.

Takahiro nods. “Still tired from yesterday.” 

“Fine, rest well.” They let him go without pushing it further. 

Takahiro leaves the arcade, thinking of just heading home and eating the food in the fridge and maybe watch a series or something before crashing. He said farewell to his friends and began to walk away from the arcade. 

“Taka...hiro!” His name is called out breathlessly.

He recognises that voice anywhere - he stops in his tracks and turns around. There he was, hunched over, out of breath - his first love and bestfriend. “Issei?”

Issei stands up and with large strides he walks to Takahiro - standing face to face in his suit, although Takahiro notices the missing tie yet the gloves were still on. He was at work, huh. Issei stares down at Takahiro - silent as both look at each other. 

“Why is it so hard to find you?” Issei mutters.

Takahiro averts his eyes first - finding the collar of Issei’s coat rather interesting. “Why are you here?”

“I’ve been thinking, ever since you came back to Sendai. Well, after you left actually was when it hit me. But - I - I tried to push this feeling away for so long but when I saw you that day at the station. I knew I couldn’t anymore.”

Takahiro’s eyes widen at the works being spoken by Issei. “Issei, you’re scaring me.” 

Issei holds his face with his gloved hands, making him look up at Issei - the soft smile on Issei’s face that Takahiro hopes he’s the only one lucky enough to see and Takahiro knows. How could he not know - they’ve been skirting around this for years. 

“I love you. Ever since high school and I regret running away from all of it. If I was brave like Tooru or Hajime-”

“Focus on us not them. Issei say it properly, I’ve been waiting for fucking years to hear it.” Takahiro cuts him.

Issei lets out the happiest laughter Takahiro has ever heard - his smile wide and endearing that Takahiro might just combust. “I love you. Be with me Takahiro.” He whispers before leaning in for a kiss.

“I love you too, Issei.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/OmiKunLover?s=09)
> 
> Inspired from tis' the damn season by Taylor Swift. 
> 
> This was supposed to be short but aha have this long ass fic of Matsuhana. Enjoy. <3


End file.
